In most cases of divorce, parents are both prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for their child. Whether one parent is the sole provider or both have been working to provide for their child, they deserve to see them and to be a part of their lives barring any extreme factors.
Most courts prefer to see parents share custody. Why? Children who see both parents regularly are known to do better following divorce. They tend to have better outcomes than children who live in sole physical custody of one parent.
Some parents fight for sole custody or primary custody because they believe that their children need solid routines and that moving from home to home is a distraction and disturbance. The reality is this: Sharing overnight parenting time won’t hurt your bond with your child. Spending a reasonable amount of time apart won’t harm your bond, either. Outcomes for children of divorce who spend at least 35% of the time with each parent are better than in cases where children are restricted from seeing their parents.
Barring ongoing conflicts, abuse or other difficult scenarios, children should have time with both parents. This might be difficult as a soon-to-be divorced partner of a spouse you don’t trust or respect. Still, it is in your child’s best interests to work together to parent them, even if you don’t necessarily get along. Putting your child first will help provide them with better support and allow them to continue to bond with both parents. This, combined with seeing parents who work together despite disagreements, does help children learn about conflict management and how to handle difficult situations in the future.
If you’re getting a divorce, think carefully about shared parenting. It could be the right choice for your child.